Once a poem...

Everything around me reminds me of the past:
People, the songs, even my room.
Every time they ask me about that ghost
It is as if they put their finger on the sore.
I overcame all that had to be surpassed,
But I will not forget it, ever.
I really do not think I can spend a day,
Without thinking about the name that haunts me.
There is something in my past that cannot be forgotten
And lies in my heart as an empty hole.
I know I can get through this
I just need to find what I’m looking for...
I do not believe in angels,
Not the kind of angels with wings and halos.
I believed in one, once...
Not a typical angel, but the kindest of all
With the most beautiful voice in the world
This angel has brought with him an illusion, where I stayed.

I live deaf, screaming at myself in silence
Every day inside my head;
It is all so different, so hallucinating
And unreal as he seems to be.
It sounds strange what I am saying,
But does it have to make sense?
Now that I woke up,
I follow his voice and I just want him to shut up.
I want to plug the hole and get out of this illusion.
This angel is you, and you disappointed me
However, I need you and your fondness.
Take me away from here,
The future is illusory without your affection
It is as uncertain as our forbidden love:
We cannot build hopes,
It is not advised nor healthy to have them.
Our future disappears as we fight for it;
But that’s another story, another time, another world of mine.

J.